God's View on Divorce: Final Report

What about the two exceptions?

When speaking of divorce the first two things people seem to point to is the two exceptions mentioned in the Scriptures. I know that there are a lot of opinions on this, and I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this topic.

Jesus gave us one of the exceptions in Matthew 5 and that is the one of the unfaithful spouse. If your spouse cheats on you, God will allow divorce.

but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 5:32

The other is found in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16

Divorce is allowed if an unbelieving one decides to desert the other spouse. We are to keep the peace and allow them to go. 1 Timothy 5:8 would seem to conclude that the one who leaves his household is not only an unbeliever, but actually worse than an unbeliever.

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
1 Timothy 5:8

The question though, comes in this form: "If someone is unfaithful or an unbeliever are we supposed to just give up?:

Are we supposed to just write the divorce papers?


Again, through these two acts, we see the grace and love of Christ Jesus.

Here is the point of why these two things are of last resort and why the one that is the holy one in the marriage is supposed to be the forgiving one, and the righteous one. So, the one that has done nothing wrong, should forgive and show grace to the one at fault. Does this sound familiar? Sounds like redemption. Sounds like the true Christian in the marriage is supposed to be a picture of Christ in these instances.

He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.
2 Corinthians 5:21

The one who forgives the spouse is the one who will showing the imitation of Christ, they will point the other, the one at fault, the Messiah, the One who was perfect, who died for the souls of the unrighteous and in return gave them His righteousness.

Further, what is the person in a marriage that cheats on their spouse called? An adulterer. They are a fornicator, both words are really nice ways to call someone a whore in the Hebrew.

Look to Jeremiah 3:1-14

When a spouse cheats and the one who has been offended shows forgiveness they are a picture of Christ.

When a spouse is cheated on they now get to understand what Christ goes through with his people who are whores, harlots, adulterers and run to other gods, instead of loving him with all their heart, soul and strength, and worshiping him alone.

The second exception that is given to us in 1 Corinthians is the person who is does not love Jesus and decides to leave the spouse. We find that again, the believing spouse, gets to show the love of Christ through this situation.

What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost until he finds it?When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing.And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!’ I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.
Luke 15:4-7

If Jesus Christ goes after our wandering and faithless hearts, then the spouse who tries to reconcile with the unbelieving spouse is also a picture of Christ. The believing spouse should do all that is possible to keep the marriage vows, but when all hope is lost, they should let them go to do as 1 Corinthians 7:15 tells us: to keep peace.

The last resort in both of these cases is divorce and we also see that God does the same thing to those who are unrepentant.

Look to Ezekiel 16:23-43

In the end, when a divorce happens, it is also a picture of what will happen to one who denies his God. He is allowed to follow after his desires as God turns them over to their desires to follow after their other gods, and ultimately they will be thrown into hell. The picture that is shown in divorce is ultimately the picture of Christ allowing those to follow after their own ways, which leads to hell, not the picture of the church and their spouse, Jesus Christ.

Can you really conclude that divorce is ultimately “okay” with God. He says he hates it, can you see why?

If marriage is a picture of the union with Christ then divorce is a picture of a man being plunged into the depths of hell. And God says in Ezekiel 33:11

Say to them, ‘As I live!’ declares the Lord GOD, ‘I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that the wicked turn from his way and live. Turn back, turn back from your evil ways! Why then will you die, O house of Israel?
Ezekiel 33:11

As our faithful God says this to the world, we should also say to a spouse who desires to be divorced.

In the latest polls taken, there is more divorce in the church than outside of the church. I just wonder if those that do this know how much disgust that they bring to the cross of Christ.

We have the perfect spouse, found in Jesus Christ. We are the unfaithful ones, we are the whores, we are the ones looking to other gods, we are the ones wanting to leave our God. What if Christ "divorced" us the first time we were unfaithful or desiring to follow after our own evil desires?

This is why in the old hymn, Come Thou Fount, by Robert Robinson he says in there,

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

This is why when faced with an “out” per se from marriage we are always to be forgiving and gracious and try our hardest to keep the marriage, for we show the glory of God through being imitators of him, for I would hate for my God to divorce me the first chance he got, because I am unfaithful, in some way, every day of my life.

May we marry for the glory of Christ and not for the glory of our self.

Soli Deo Gloria!

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God's View on Divorce: Part II

The Reasons Divorce is Hated

For I hate divorce, God says in Malachi 2:16. But why? Do you ever think of the laws that God says and simply ask, “why is it wrong to do so?” There is very much reason why divorce is so hated by God.

What is the answer? What is the answer of why God hates divorce?

Some preach sermons on this as just another moralistic way to live your life. Don’t divorce because God says so, they will say. But, what happens if we just don’t get divorced because God says so?

We will never fully understand how Christ is seen in it, nor will we see the love of God for us. Because marriage is a picture of Christ’s relationship with us. If we can see this relationship today, you will understand more clearly why divorce is so hated by God.

Jesus gives us a commentary, not only on Part I's Scripture, but also the original intent of marriage in Matthew 19.

Jesus tells us that divorce has never been permitted and it is because the original intent of marriage was that when the two come together to marry, they become one flesh. They are no longer two people, but one. We will get to the two reasons that divorce is permitted, but for now we are going to focus on the reason of marriage.


So, the first reason that Christ tells us that divorce is wrong is because the two have become one flesh. But this is really a picture. This marriage, this oneness, is a picture of conversion.

What happens at conversion? The Spirit of Christ lives within us. We are adopted in the family, we call God Abba, or daddy.

Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, "The two shall become one flesh." But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him.
1 Corinthians 6:16-17

For the most important reason of the marriage, look to Ephesians 5. This is a popular passage of Scripture, but we see the reason marriage is so vital, and in the end, why divorce is so detrimental.

Marriage is the picture of Christ to us. Marriage points people to Christ. Marriage points people to the Trinity.

Let’s look at the different ways:

The wives point us to our relationship with Christ:

What does verse 22 tell us about the wife?

The wife shows us how we are to be with our Lord. We are to be submissive to Christ. We are to realize that through watching the godly wife that we are seeing a picture of the Christian and his/her loving submissive relationship to the Christ.

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,
1 Peter 3:1

What does verse 25 tell us about the husband?

Verse 25 is for us to see exactly how much Christ loves us. In that, Christ is not a ruler or king that simply gives out decrees and rules without care, but he truly loves us and wants the best for us. So much so, that Christ gave up his own life, his own kingdom, his own rule in heaven for the sake of our redemption for the glory of God. He comes along side of his children and shows them how much he loves them, instead of just demanding worship and adoration. Jesus got his "hands dirty" per se.

This is what the husband does for the world and for the wife. He shows the perfect leadership and love of Jesus Christ.

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:7

This idea of the woman being weaker is not someone who is weak like weakminded or anything like that, as some dumb men would have people think, but more of someone who is like a prized vase that you take care of.

What do we learn of the church? That we are the prize for Christ, that we are the ones that are given to Christ.

“Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.”
Revelation 19:7

Lastly, look to Eph 5:21

and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.
Ephesians 5:21

Who shows us the perfect subjection to one another? The Trinity. So, marriage is also a showing of perfect subjection to one another so that all are equal, yet with different roles.

So, if we can see that marriage is a perfect picture of the oneness that comes about in conversion, if we can see that the wife points us to being subject to our Christ, that the husband shows us the loving leadership of Christ and marriage shows us the perfect subjection that the Trinity have with one another, can you see why divorce is so detrimental to the testimony of our great God?

Do you see that even marriage is not about ourselves, but is all about the glory of Jesus Christ?

The way to make sure that your life is not wasted is to continually point people to Jesus Christ through doing all things for the glory of Christ. This is why divorce is so detrimental, because it destroys the witness of pointing people to the glory of Christ.

In the next post we'll take a look at the exceptions that the New Testament gives us for grounds of divorce.

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God's View on Divorce: Part I

This is something that myself and one of my friends were talking about the other day, in relation to what is permissible under God's laws and the NT and then also what is permissible as far as remarriage. I figured I would do a short series on it and see what we can get as far as discussion. So, please, comment away and we'll try and search the Scriptures together to see if we can come to a conclusion.

Let's start in Deuteronomy 24:1-4

When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house,and she leaves his house and goes and becomes another man’s wife,and if the latter husband turns against her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife,then her former husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance.

Deuteronomy 24:1-4

At first glance, what do these verses seem to make okay? It seems to make okay the idea of divorce okay, so we need to take this verse for what it actually says, and not what the Pharisees took it to mean.

To understand verse 1, we must first understand where Moses is coming from back in these days of the middle east: divorce ran rampant, it wasn’t a big deal. You could basically do it for any reason you found fit. The man could just up and write a writ of divorce, then if he decided to later, remarry, divorce her again, find a new wife, divorce her, etc.

We see that these were petty reasons because of what we see here in the first verse. Notice that it says that the husband finds no favor in his wife anymore, or finds some indecency in her. Some have thought that the term indecency used here means that maybe the wife cheated on her husband or found that she really wasn’t a virgin when he married her. So, some have said, if the husband found out those things he could divorce her, but what do we find happens, in the Old Testament, if someone is found to be an adulterer or fornicator?

If there is a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, one who commits adultery with his friend’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.
Leviticus 20:10

Basically, Moses is saying, if you divorce your wife because you feel like it here are some rules for you to follow concerning it.

So, we can see that what is happening in the days of Moses, is exactly like what is happening today. What is the most famous term used today for divorcing someone? "We just fell out of love" or "we had irreconcilable differences."

So, the first verse gives the action that is happening in the house of Israel, namely that people are getting divorced because of petty things and so Moses is going to set up some laws and have some pretty crazy words for those who get divorced for petty reasons and then get remarried.

So what do we find the situation has become in verses 2 and 3?

We see that after the divorce that the woman has become married to another man and then, that man has either divorced her or died.

What is the law concerning the first husband? Is he to marry her again? No.

Why?

Here are the words that are very harsh, yet true of the one who has divorced and the one who has married the divorced person.

Moses says that the woman has been defiled, therefore the man also is defiled.

The term defiled means to be unclean and is the same term when used in both Leviticus 18:20 and Numbers 5:13,14 when it says that the one who commits adultery is defiled.

So, Moses is saying that if one is divorced and remarries that both the man and the woman that remarry are committing adultery. We’ll get to the two ways that divorce is permitted in the NT, but these are not even represented here.

Divorce was happening for no reason in Israel and so Moses says, if you do it for these stupid, petty reasons, it is the same as committing adultery.

Does Moses ever say that divorce is permitted? No, but he knew that the tradition of divorce was so rampant that people would keep doing it, so he puts some serious laws on those who decided to get divorced.

In Malachi 2:16 God says, For I hate divorce. So, we know that Moses is not being flippant about divorce here or even permitting it in a lawful sense.

Now Moses says, basically, if you do it, you have to be single for the rest of your life or you are an adulterer.

You think this will slow down some of these divorces that were happening?

Here is what Christ says about the same thing:

but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 5:32

This is what Christ says about marriage. It is so important that if one decides to get divorced besides unchasity, and you get remarried, you are an adulterer. Those are some very harsh words, so we must ask, “why?”

That is what we'll cover in the next post.

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