Common Misconceptions on Private School

These posts on private school seem to be like taking a breather before we get into my thoughts on public schooling and from the sound of it will be even more interesting when I put up my post on "Why my family has decided to public school our children." Before we get into that discussion, I wanted to put forth some ideas on some common misconceptions on private school for you to chew on.

My Kids Have to Be Private Schooled No Matter What

Someone brought this up on facebook and was something I was going to mention in this post. Private school is expensive for some families. Some families decide to put all other biblical principles to the side and do whatever it takes to private school their children. They get second jobs, lose a conviction on the wife staying at home, and become just bad stewards of their money. This is one of the ways that God is telling you that He doesn't want you to private school. Are we to sacrifice sometimes for the kingdom? Yes, of course, but we should never sacrifice biblical principles for the sake of our kids.

I am not saying that all those who private school their kids are idolizing their kids at all, but when you start laying aside other responsibilities as a parent to send your kids to private school, you have now made your child an idol. These responsibilities could be from over working the parents to where they have no time for the children, to giving up other convictions (such as mom staying at home) in order to put the kid in a private school.

Sometimes expenses are God's way of saying, "no". I would love to go to Africa to aid my friends in Mozambique at their orphanage, but the tickets alone cost $3000, and my family is no in position at this point for me to lose time at work and the cost of going. At this point, my wife and I have prayed and understood that God is telling us "no, stay where you are, this is where I want you."

Know your expenses and know what God is telling you. Listen to God's calling for your life, but also know that God will never have you lay down one biblical principle to follow another one. Will God sometimes ask you to sacrifice monetarily for his calling? Of course he will, this happens all the time, but if you have to get there by ignoring other parts of God's holy Word, know that it may not be God opening the door, but Satan.

Screw Private School, They're all Just Spoiled Brats

I hate to bust your bubble, but God loves rich people too. Now, not everyone in the private school system is rich by any means. But, the idea from non private school people seems to be sometimes jealousy of the fact that these parents have the means to send their children to private schools. Remember, that all through this series, I am trying to get you, the reader, to get to the base of why you should be schooling your kids the way you desire. If it is for God's glory first, and you feel that God's mission to you is private school, that is awesome. There are many who never hear the gospel out of mere jealousy of them having greater means than others. Jesus rebuked the rich young ruler, and many other money idolators need the same rebuking and Christ centered living shown to them right in front of their eyes. Some of these kids will never listen to a poor kid who doesn't know their situation, but put someone of their own "status" in front of them, on mission for Christ, and the ears could be opened.

We cannot forget that the private schools are a mission field, and we need missionaries to be within them showing the glories of Christ through the way they, and their family, lives.

So, know that even if most of the kids are pompous that go to some of these schools, they need Jesus.

*I feel like I need to keep qualifying my statements. Know that I don't think that all kids that go to private schools are pompous or that their parents are rich jerks. This can definitely happen though and happens often. If you aren't a rich pompous jerk, this is not speaking to you...so don't take offense.

I Want to Private School Because it is a Safer Environment

This depends on the situation. It depends on the area and the school. It depends on what you mean by safe. I don't have statistics, but to think that your child is safer just because the school is private is a misnomer that I would hope the parent understands. You have to remember that sometimes private schools are filled with some of the worst kids, because they have been kicked out of the public schools and have no place to go. Do these kids need Christ? Yes. Does this sometimes remove the thoughts of safety from the private school? It definitely can.

The problem with churches, private schools, public schools and even the home filled with homeschoolers is that they are all filled with sinners. What studies have found is that what sinners do best is...sin. So, the same precautions and underlying teaching and discipline that goes for the public school parent, has to go for the private school parent. The scary thing is when a parent who decides to private school, just puts their child in the school thinking that it is "safe" just because it has "Christian" in the title. Parents must not be ignorant to these facts and must keep on top of what is happening with the child, the teachers and the administration. Hopefully, if you have chosen a good school, you will have the administration on your side if things go astray.

Not only do you have to make sure that you fight against the immorality of the sinners, you must also fight against the morality of the perceived righteous. What I have also seen within private schools is that the children are raised like Pharisees sometimes. Seeing themselves on a higher level than the public and homeschooled kids. The parent needs to continually discipline the gospel to these children and continually remind them of God's provision and the reason that God has put them on mission in the private school system.

These are the most common misconceptions that I have seen. I also hit on some in my first post when I spoke on teachers and professors that have different convictions on the Bible than your family. This is especially important to remember, but even moreso, remember that just because your child is in private school, this doesn't give you the right to not train them. You are utilizing other resources to teach your children certain subjects, but you are still the primary source for their training. You must not forget this. You must continually put a God centered vision in front of your children so that when they go off and are taught, they can see how the teaching does or doesn't fit into the plan that God has established through his word.

This is vital. We are told in Deuteronomy 6 to train our children, and we must not merely hand them over to a school and act like that is enough. The school system is not primary, but secondary, even if it is a great Christian educational system.

I have seen this done in another way. I have seen parents who have decided it is the church's responsibility to teach theology to their children. I teach and I teach them, and then when I speak to the parents of what is going on at home, I find that I am their primary theological teacher for their family. This is not okay. I am not the one primarily responsible for your child's training...you are.

The same is said outside of the church in any place that your child goes for training and discipline.

Know the mission God has put you on, and don't let others tell you differently. Listen to God through prayer and His word and go to others who actually know who Jesus is, so that they can help you in making decisions for the sake of the glory of God alone.

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Should I Private School My Kids?

It has definitely been an interesting ride so far in this series that is only 1/4 done. What I want to reiterate once again is that I do not have a bias against or for any type of schooling as long as the decision is first and foremost for the glory of God and mission that he has put your family on. The outcome of that understanding should be the decision on how to school your children, not the other way around. For whatever reason, people have taken this thought and have used it to make is sound like I have something against homeschooling...which is just not true. Just because my family won't be homeschooling or private schooling doesn't mean that I am against it. I am just against it for my family, because it isn't God's will for us. It is like me saying that I am not for my family going to Africa and living there at this point, because God has me on mission here in my great state of Washington. Does this mean I am against, or biased against those families that have chosen to be on mission in Africa? Not at all.

Okay, enough said about that. Let's get to private schooling. What I want to make clear, so that this is easier to follow, is that when I am speaking of private schooling your child, I am speaking about private schooling in an evangelical Christian private school. Some of these pros and cons might cross over to any private school, but some may not, but I wanted you to know what my premise was as you read.

Pros

God Centered Education

I will say that this is definitely not the case at every Christian private school that I have witnessed, but if you choose a private school I would hope that this is one of the great pros that you can "boast" about. The nice thing about private schooling is that the Bible is usually brought up in almost every classroom setting and the kids have the Bible as a staple in their backpacks. The teachers will keep them on task in an understanding that God is the creator, that he is the sustainer and he is the reason for life and breath and all things. This is a wonderful pro for private schooling your children. Your child gets to hear it at home and at school the wonders of God. If it is a really good school the teachers will bring up past geniuses in the field of study to show how their faith impacted their studies, such as Jonathan Edwards.

Overall, this is a really nice addition to what the child will be learning at home and great confirmation for the child to be able to hear and discuss Christian topics in an environment that hopefully expects and supports the critical thinking of Christian convictions.

You Get to Choose the School

The variety of Christian schooling is wide. You can choose everything from the watered down gospel school that gives hugs at the door to the name it and claim it school where for some reason it is the kids fault if they get an "F" on a paper because they didn't have enough faith. The good thing is that, for the most part, the parent can enjoy a plethora of choices when they decide to private school their child. Unless you live in the back hills of some state with no mountains or trees, then you are stuck with making dresses and covered wagons with the Amish. But, hey, it probably doesn't cost that much to go to that school since you can barter with them.

If the parent is on mission for their family, this choice should be made carefully and for specific purposes that God has laid on your heart. You might be making a choice based more on theological convictions than education, or vice versa, depending on where you honestly feel that God is setting your child in place at. For the most part, from what I have seen, the administrative staff at these schools are pretty open and honest about what they offer and what they refuse to change, which is what you want up front when choosing a school.

The Fight Is Less Daunting

For the most part, the private school that you choose will probably be an extension of the home and not in stark contrast. This, again, is not always the case, but for the most part usually is. I am not saying that the parents will not be involved or have times of conflict (which I will confront more in the common misconceptions post), but if you have chosen a school carefully, you won't have to make decisions on whether your child is taught sex education too early (or at all), have to decide if your child will attend diversity day at school, or have to continually battle against a Godless creation.

For the most part, this is a good thing for the parents and child involved in private school.

Cons

Can Set up Walls Against the Gospel

Notice I said, "can set up walls." This doesn't mean that it will always happen this way or is a definite. But, what can happen within a private school is the idea of privilege and set up walls to where the regular Joe is never seen or befriended. It can become an "us and them" mentality. The parent's role in this becomes difficult when the other parents are rolling around in expensive cars (while idolizing them) and their kids look like they are miniature Donald Trumps just trying to get through school so they can become the next great entrepreneur (these guys/gals need Jesus too, which will also be in the misconceptions post). If the parent becomes lazy in fighting this mindset, then the walls will start to be built and the poor and needy can start to be looked at as a burden instead of having the Imago Dei needing the transformation of Jesus. The school can start to look more like a gated community trying to keep all the riff-raff out and the ones who belong in. Which isn't the gospel, so parents, keep the fight against this.

We want our children to understand that all people need Jesus and whether you go to private, public or home school, God sees everyone of them the same and all need Jesus regardless. If the parent becomes lazy in this area, pride can be built within the child and soon enough James 2 starts reading with the child's name inserted as the one needing to be corrected.

Diversity of Theology

This will also be put in my public school post as well and can be a pro and a con. I personally went to a Free Methodist University that believed in free will and Arminian thought. What did I get out of it? I actually became Reformed. Pretty interesting to say the least. Although the private school will teach about Jesus, the theology can sometimes be quite poor. The watered down gospel can be taught, weird thoughts on hell, creation, and the infallibility and plenary Word can be challenged. Just because it is labeled as "Christian" doesn't mean that the theology is correct. Like I said, this can be a pro or a con, depending on how you see it. If the parent is on top of things, I think that the child can benefit greatly from being challenged in their theological beliefs. This is exactly what I got out of a University that believed in women pastors and where the Old Testament professors thought the fables of the OT were cute and done well for the little kids. It really made me think and understand the reasons why I believed what I believed.

So this can go in two ways. If the parent isn't on top of this, the child can get some strange things taught to them that will honor man and not God. On the other hand, if the parent is quite involved (and loves their child), they can critically think through the issues with their child and help them develop discernment and a God centered theology.

It is sad when I see a child let loose to private school and the parents seem to almost say, "Phew, glad that school has it handled, see you when you're 18."

The decision to private school is no different than the decision to homeschool or public school. The parents need to diligently pray, go to the Scriptures and come to a decision where they feel the Lord is putting their family on mission for His glory. This has to be the first thought for it to be truly God honoring. The decisions and understanding don't stop there for the parent of a private schooled child. They will need to continue to get out of the child more than "we learned about God today" from the child. With liberal theology continually creeping into the minds of the conservative, it can come in small doses without the careful parent noticing.

To an extent the job of a private school parent is not that different than a public school parent, just happens in different ways with different focuses. But, the biggest focus for our children has to be, "Son/daughter, how did you glorify God today in your actions and thoughts today at school?"

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How Should I School My Kids?: Introduction

I have always known that schooling was a big issue when it came to Christian parents and their children. I have been intrigued by it ever since my mom was told that she wasn't a good mother for being a public school teacher herself, and also sending me and my youngest brother to public schools our whole life. The crazy thing is that my mom was well educated, so was my dad, and I was still public schooled. There were many things that my parents could have improved on, and many things my children will say that I should improve on, but the decision to have me public schooled was not one of them. I grew up for the first 12 years of my life in Oklahoma, dreadful place, but the people are cool. In Oklahoma the only people that I knew who were home schooled looked like they came straight off the covered wagon and land rush. Seriously. Not kidding. I never knew that kids could be even partially normal and be homeschooled, they were just a strange bunch.

After 12 we moved up to the great Northwest just outside of Seattle and I have been here ever since. My father was a tent maker and was a youth pastor for parts of those years, I was the youth director for my church for the past 5 plus years, public schooled my whole life until college, so I come with much experience even if my own children are quite young (6 and 3). I am guessing it is my age, involvement in church, etc. but it seems nowadays that a small minority of true Christian parents send their children to public schools. Today I simply asked the question of what people preferred, and it quickly turned to a heated debate with close to 200 comments (click here for page view). What was shocking is that the minority of people would even consider public schooling their children. It seemed like those who are broke and holding down two jobs were the only ones, besides a select few, who had a distinctive reason for public schooling their children. Very interesting to say the least.

I will be quite honest. I cannot foresee any reason that I would ever homeschool or private school my children. I am pretty set on public schooling them. I know all the ins and outs of this, have my whole life and still very involved with those who public school their kids. So, I come in this with some conviction already. But, I don't want you to think that I believe that this means that the other means are then a sin and shouldn't be pursued. Not at all. What I want to do, like I try and always do when I blog, is for you to seriously consider why you are choosing or advising others on choosing what to do for their children.

I am going to set this up in three different posts that will give what I believe are the strong and weak points in each of the categories. I hope to not draw any straw men or unnecessary reductio ad absurdum arguments into the mix. What I simply hope to do is get my thoughts down, and then have a healthy discussion on the topics at hand. I know, especially after today, that the blood boils hot on this topic. So, as you read these posts, remember that I can get tongue and cheek, I will destroy bad argumentation when I feel it necessary, but I still love those who challenge me in my thoughts. So come ready to comment, challenge me, be challenged, etc. Remember that I am usually an equal opportunity basher of all. So, if you start laughing at the posts, you probably will be quickly yelling at them too. But, that's cool, as long as these get you to look more to Jesus and his glory, I am good with you screaming at your screen and looking like you have tourettes syndrome.

In the end, I want you to really understand that the answer to everything we do in this life, including our schooling decisions with our children, is not about ourselves, but is about what glorifies God and his risen Son the most. If you do not believe that is the question that should be asked, you will get very frustrated at some of these posts.

So, the outline will be as follows: Each will include pros and cons

Home School
Private School
Public School
Why I am choosing Public School for my children

I hope you will find this proactive and not destructive in decisions when it comes to our schooling. Because our children are the most important things in this world...oops...no they're not, God's glory is.

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