How Do I Know If My Child is Saved?

Because of the discussion of communion, many usually start asking, "if we don't allow people to come to the table unless they are saved, how do we know if they are saved?" Usually this has more to do with our children than adults, even though I do not believe there to be much difference in repentance and faith. Do they look different? Sometimes, but the same ideals should be seen and put forth. This isn't a dumb question and one that should be asked by parents and sought to be answered. The problem with the answer, like many things in practical Christianity is there is no hard and fast rule. If you would like to read my thoughts on infants and heaven, you can read that here: Where do babies go when they die?

But, for those God has allowed to grace us with their presence, even though we as parents don't always see it that way, how do we know when they are saved and ready to be baptized and partake in communion? I am more liberal than some on this thought and desire that my sons be included into the New Covenant sooner upon profession than a continual questioning of their salvation. I just want to share how I am going to "test" whether or not my children are saved.

Confession and Repentance

When looking throughout Acts and the Gospels two things are clear: a disciple of Christ is a person who confesses Christ and repents of sins.

Martin Luther's first of his 95 theses states:

Our Lord and Master Jesus Christ, when He said Poenitentiam agite (or "repent ye"), willed that the whole life of believers should be repentance.

Both of these terms, confession and repentance, are in the present tense. Meaning, just as Luther points out, we should continually confess and repent as Christians. This does not mean that your child needs to then say a prayer of confession and repentance, fill out a card, check a box and walk down the aisle and consider himself saved from that nasty place called hell with that ugly beast called Satan. This isn't what the New Testament is trying to get across, although we will be saved from hell and the wrath of God.

Confession of Christ means just what the Bible continually points to. Confession, or faith in Christ, means that you believe that you are a grave sinner in need of a Saviour to save you. One must believe that their Saviour is found in Christ Jesus alone, on his works alone and that he rose from death, conquering our sin altogether. Can a child understand this fully? I would rather beg the question, "Can ANYONE understand this fully?" The depths of the cross and resurrection are so overwhelming that if anyone says they understand it, they are deceiving themselves. I would rather give the cross and resurrection liberally to the lost, including my children.

As they start to show this understanding as they continually seek its power, I will quickly affirm their belief, not belittle them.

Repentance is something that we as parents like to forget about. It really comes in the understanding of life change as well. Being that we are new creatures in Christ, we have to remember that this does not mean that we made ourselves new creatures because of our works, neither will we work out our sanctification solely on our works either. We must see this with our children.

Too many parents hold the sins over the heads of their children. Saying that they do not see the life change expected from a Christian, all while denying their own struggles with sin. Acting as if their life is holy and undefiled because they read and pray every morning before going to work while their child plays with Legos.

If we really want to get to the crux of the life of the Christian it is one where we desire Christ and his cross so much more because we see how clearly we, in our flesh, continually sin. We seek to understand how a God, infinite and holy, can love and die for a wretched sinner as I.

We don't then try and understand this and hold it over our child's head on why their life doesn't look "Christian". This sounds a lot like the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18, whose debt was paid and then strangled someone who owed him so much less. Do our children sin? Yes. Will they continue to sin and disappoint us? Yes. Do we forgive them for this? Yes. But we must remember that they didn't sin against us, but against God. We have to remember that we don't sin against others, but against God. If God can forgive us for sinning against a holy and infinite One, why can he not forgive our children of the same thing?

So, How Do I Know if My Child Is Saved?

I will seek to see when my child is repentant and loves the cross more than his sin. My sons currently, at the ages of 6 and 3, know the facts of the cross, but are showing little signs of repentance. Although I see other signs in my kids that make my heart cry out in joy, I don't see sons that desire forgiveness through the cross. They do not need to know all the facts of the Bible, they don't need to know how to debate the substitutionary theory of the atonement or prove that Christ was born of a virgin. What they need to know though is that Christ died for them (which is in fact substitutionary) and that they will continually sin in this life, but forgiveness waits for those who are repentant. This doesn't mean that they will desire to sin, but will desire to live for Jesus. This doesn't mean that they will be sinless, but will know who to go to for forgiveness when they don't share, fight, lie or call their siblings dumb.

As soon as I see this in my child's life, I will baptize them and allow them to partake of the table. I pray that this life starts sooner than later, but I will not wait for my child to be close to sinless for this to happen, but will seek out sons who love Jesus and love that he did all the work and they are helpless without him.

Parents, be careful that you don't become a heretic in waiting for a sinless child to kill themselves on the altar. Christ paid for their sins, just as he paid for yours. Don't be the unmerciful servant, but be the servant that tells the wonders of the great and merciful one who waits and desires for your child to be welcomed into the family of God.

Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay His hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Matthew 19:13-14

The principal difficulty of children in coming to Christ frequently lies in their friends. Their parents or their other relatives think they are too young, and discourage them. Oh, that we all had a right idea of the possibility of the conversion of little children; nay, not only of the possibility, but that we looked for it, watched for it, and encouraged young children to come to Christ! You know that, in the parable I am going to read presently, we are told that the householder “went out early in the morning to hire laborers into his vineyard.” What a privilege it is to be Brought to Christ early in the morning,—that is, while we are yet children.

Spurgeon, Charles H.: Spurgeon's Sermons: Volume 43. electronic ed. Albany, OR : Ages Software, 1998 (Logos Library System; Spurgeon's Sermons 43)

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Where Do Babies Go When They Die? Part II

I wanted to give some additional thoughts on the issue of where babies go when they die. I will be honest that I have not studied out these thoughts as much as I would have liked before posting, but I don't mind to put it out there and see what others think. Again, I want to say that through this, I still don't believe that we can be dogmatic about the stance of these thoughts. I would say that God gives us some great clues on what the final stance is, but not dogmatic ones. So, like most things that I teach or write, I sound very dogmatic about it because they are my convictions, but I don't want any to think that I believe that I have arrived in my theology or that I see this as a dead issue with no debate left to wrestle with. With that said, here are some further thoughts on this issue.

Reason #4 that all children go to heaven (click here for previous post to see reasons 1-3)

Jesus died for the sin of Adam.

From a historical reformed position, John 1:29 was seen by many to mean that Jesus died for the sin of Adam for all people.

The next day he saw Jesus coming to him and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!
John 1:29

Notice what Christ takes away for the world: sin. It is singular, not plural in this verse. What singular, or one, sin could John be talking about?

So then as through one transgression there resulted condemnation to all men, even so through one act of righteousness there resulted justification of life to all men.
Romans 5:18

Notice that the one act of righteousness by Christ resulted in justification of life to all men. How could this be? Well, if we are talking about the singular headship sin of Adam to all men, then we could speak of Christ removing this sin by the cross. Because the result of Adam's sin is spiritual death. This death results in men not being able to respond to God, the things of God being foolishness to them, men becoming useless because of it. This is why we need regeneration. So, Adam's sin has been taken away by the cross of Christ. So, then, babies would not go to hell based on Adam's sin.

Reason #5: People go to hell for their deeds

We have to ask, "why do people go to hell?" Is it because of Adam's sin, or the sin of the sinner? From what I have been able to study, and I am up for correction in this, we go to hell because of our sin, not because of Adam's.

Look at these two verses (there are many others):

If you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each one’s work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay on earth;
1 Peter 1:17

And I saw the dead, the great and the small, standing before the throne, and books were opened; and another book was opened, which is the book of life; and the dead were judged from the things which were written in the books, according to their deeds. And the sea gave up the dead which were in it, and death and Hades gave up the dead which were in them; and they were judged, every one of them according to their deeds. Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. And if anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.
Revelation 20:12-15

It looks like the reason that people will not be found in the book of life, besides election, is because of their evil deeds. This is why they will go to hell. It will be because of their sin, not because of God. When someone stands at the judgment seat, they cannot say that they did not sin, or that they don't believe that Adam was their head. They will be shown their actual sin that they committed and they will know it is sin because of Romans 2:15,16:

in that they show the work of the Law written in their hearts, their conscience bearing witness and their thoughts alternately accusing or else defending them, on the day when, according to my gospel, God will judge the secrets of men through Christ Jesus.
Romans 2:15-16

So, ignorance cannot be a reason. One might ask, "don't children sin?" The answer is definitely, "yes", but again in my last post we also have to ask the question of "do they know their sin?" To this I would say, "no, they do not 'know' their sin" and God is merciful towards this as he was to the children of the Israelites in Deuteronomy 1 when it states,"And the little ones that you said would be taken captive, your children who do not yet know good from bad—they will enter the land. I will give it to them and they will take possession of it." I would also add that from what tree did Adam and Eve die from? Was it not from the tree of KNOWLEDGE of good and evil? I would like to do some more study on this thought, but it seems that the knowing of sin is of great importance to God. This knowing of your sin is from what you die eternally for, not just the sin itself. This has great implications of our children and their sin.

I know that this is not conclusive evidence, but it definitely points me to the understanding that David definitely had, namely, if one of my children dies before knowing sin, I believe that I will return to them in my death, and I will tell any mother who loses their child the very same thing, with confidence.

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Where Do Babies Go When They Die?

This question was posed to me last night by one of my students. I thought I would put my thoughts here as a post and discuss. This is a very close to home subject for me, as my wife has had two, possibly three, miscarriages, so this really is a theology from both the mind and from the heart for me. I also have two children (pictured above) at the ages of 5 and 2 that are not old enough to fully "repent and believe." So, what am I to believe if one of them were taken from me? From what I understand, there are three thoughts on this:

1. All babies go to heaven when they die
2. All babies go to hell when they die
3. God elects some babies to heaven and leaves some as the reprobate

I am not going to go into a discussion with all three of these, but will say that I respect the third point and think those that believe that all babies go to hell need to rethink their theology and also the love of God. I really have a hard time with people who believe that all babies will go to hell when they die and don't have much patience with them. Those who believe the third point, I respect greatly because they say they are going to leave this decision to God and trust Him in his perfect wisdom. I respect it, but don't believe that they are correct.

I believe in the first. Namely, that all babies go to heaven when they die. Let me give you some reasons.

First, Jesus seems to infer this

“Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 18:3-6,10

But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”
Matthew 19:14

Jesus seems to really dismiss any who would say that all infants go to hell. Jesus says that heaven belongs to the children. That you must have faith as a child and humble yourself like a child. This isn't definitive to dismiss point three from above, or prove my point beyond doubt, but it's a start.


Second, David believed his child was going to heaven

When David and Bathsheba had a child out of wedlock, God punished them by killing the baby. When we watch David he is very telling of his theology of infant salvation and the healing power and grace of God. David knew that the child should die, but he also knew the grace of God the healer. So, as the child was alive he fasted, prayed and wept for the child to be shown mercy. But, when the child died, it simply says:

So David arose from the ground, washed, anointed himself, and changed his clothes; and he came into the house of the Lord and bworshiped. Then he came to his own house, and when he requested, they set food before him and he ate.
2 Samuel 12:20

Basically, life went back to normal. When asked about this, David gives his reasoning for assurance:

“But now he has died; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”
2 Samuel 12:23

David says that he will go to him. Unless you believe that David was headed to hell, this pretty good evidence that David is confident that his child is in heaven.

We also know that David was a man that God was not afraid to rebuke for not only his sins, but also for bad theology as well. When David didn't listen to God about how to carry the ark of the covenant, but placed it on a cart like the Philistines and Uzzah touched it and died, David wasn't happy. But, notice that after the fact, he no longer put the ark on a cart, but people carried it (2 Samuel 6:13) like they were supposed to. The point is that God corrected David and his bad theology on how to carry the ark and David responded by changing his method.

I believe for infant salvation the passage in 2 Samuel 12:23 looms very large. This is David who believed this, not some shmuck. David had close communication with God, was just rebuked by God through Nathan, and yet when David believes his child is in heaven, God doesn't rebuke him or speak against him in any way concerning these thoughts.

Lastly, we find the final clincher. It is found in Deuteronomy 1:34-39:

When the Lord heard what you said, he was angry and solemnly swore: “Not a man of this evil generation shall see the good land I swore to give your forefathers, except Caleb son of Jephunneh. He will see it, and I will give him and his descendants the land he set his feet on, because he followed the Lord wholeheartedly.” Because of you the Lord became angry with me also and said, “You shall not enter it, either. But your assistant, Joshua son of Nun, will enter it. Encourage him, because he will lead Israel to inherit it. And the little ones that you said would be taken captive, your children who do not yet know good from bad—they will enter the land. I will give it to them and they will take possession of it.

Now, I don't believe in an actual age of accountability, but I do believe that God shows grace to those who are born into sin and yet don't have the capacity to call out on the Lord Jesus Christ to save them from their sin. I believe that Christ died for all men on the cross and covered their sin completely, but only through belief, is Christ's righteousness imputed to the man and his sins wiped away. But, because children cannot believe because of their youth, I believe God shows grace as he did to these children in Deuteronomy 1. He literally says that they do not know good from bad. Now, we know that children know if they are lying or being rebellious even at a young age, but the word "know" is a larger intention. The understanding is not to know what sin is, but a real understanding of the depths it has on the relationship with the Lord and the implications of it. It is an intimate knowledge, not merely a factual one. Children don't have the capacity to have an intimate knowledge of their sin and the impacts it has on their true Father God.

I am not sure when children come to this knowledge, as I believe that all children are different. Some may never come to this knowledge because they have downs syndrome. I think when we put all these together, we can confidently say that God shows grace to the children and that heaven will indeed be filled with infants, all praising God for his grace, as we will.

Now, let every mother and father here present know assuredly that it is well with the child, if God hath taken it away from you in its infant days. You never heard its declaration of faith, it was not capable of such a thing, it was not baptized into the Lord Jesus Christ, not buried with him in baptism; it was not capable of giving that "answer of a good conscience towards God;" nevertheless, you may rest assured that it is well with the child, well in a higher and a better sense than it is well with yourselves; well without limitation, well without exception, well infinitely, "well" eternally.
Charles Spurgeon

"I hope you are both well reconciled to the death of your child. I cannot be sorry for the death of infants. How many storms do they escape! Nor can I doubt, in my private judgment, that they are included in the election of grace."
John Newton (writing to friends who lost a child)

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