Contend Earnestly: What's in a Name?

Saturday, October 04, 2008

What's in a Name?


I found this article on msnbc.com and thought I would share the lunacy. Of course the names celebrities name their kids are always hilarious, but Bart Simpson's prank call names are by far the best. Because people have taken those prank call names and actually named their kids after them...crazy...anyway...here is the article, enjoy:

What would compel a parent to bestow a newborn with a name like “Tiny Hooker” or “Fanny Large”? Or an amusing choice like “Wanna Towell"? It’s not just Hollywood’s elite opting for unique, embarrassing names—throughout history, normal people separated their offspring from the masses with truly terrible names.


In “Bad Baby Names,” Michael Sherrod and Matthew Rayback, of the genealogy Web site Ancestry.com, share thousands of shocking names given to real people, as recorded by the U.S. Census Bureau. Discover the funny names based around common themes, like diseases (Fever Bender, Cholera Peace), food (Bread White, Pomegranate Purple), pets (Good Dog), and if you thought Wednesday Addams was unfortunate—wait till you meet Monday Monday.

Bart Simpson pranks

Bart Simpson's prank calls to Moe's Tavern are nearly legendary, but the sad fact is that some people actually go through life with those goofy names. The following Bart creations all exist within the Ancestry.com databases:

Al Caholic
Oliver Clothesoff
I.P. Freely
Seymour Butz
Mike Rotch
Hugh Jass
Amanda Hugginkiss
Ivana Tinkle
Anita Bath
Maya Buttreeks

Celebrities

Forget Suri or Shiloh – celebrities have given their children far stranger names! Discover the stars' oddest, most bizarre baby names:

Clementine Jane (Ethan Hawke and Ryan Shawhughes)
Knox Leon (Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt)
Sunday Rose (Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban)
Apple (Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow)
Moxie CrimeFighter (Magician Penn Jillette)
Hopper (Sean Penn and Robin Wright)
Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf)
Sosie (Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick)
Destry (Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw)
Aurelius Cy (Elle Macpherson)
Kal-El Coppola (Nicolas Cage)
Bluebell Madonna (Spice Girl Geri Halliwell)
Audio Science (Actress Shannyn Sossamon)
Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone)
Tallulah (Bruce Willis and Demi Moore)
Kyd (David Duchovny and Tea Leoni)


Diseases

You'd have to be really sick to infect your offspring with virulent names like these:


Fever Bender (born 1856)
Leper Priest (born 1929)
Cholera Priest (born 1830 during the second cholera pandemic)
Rubella Graves (born 1814)
Typhus Black (born 1897)
Hysteria Johnson (born 1881)
Emma Royd (born 1850)
Kathryn E. Coli (born 1894)
Mumps Sykes (born 1891)

Professions

With names like "Mayor Bland," it seems like some parents had high, ambitious hopes for their children's future.


Cook Cook
Governor Bush
Lawyer Low
Doctor Love
Teacher Blackbear
Judge Savage
Editor Honeycutt
Mayor Bland
Sales O. Justice
Gamble Moore

Sins

The authors found 149 records for people named Lust, 70 for Greed, 12 for Sloth, and 830 for Pride. Which of the 7 deadlly sins was missing? Only gluttony.

Lust Garten
Greed Sister Mancini
Avarice Sullivan
Sloth Washton
Wrath Gordon
Envy Burger
Pride Saint
Greed McGrew
Pride Saint
Lust T. Castle

Irish luck

Plenty of parents must have thought that naming their child Lucky would translate into a bright future. In 1930 alone, there are 463 Luckys.

Some lucky favorites:
Lucky Green
Lucky Jewell
Lucky O’Brien
Lucky Pleasant
Luck Fortune
Shamrock Hardeman of Illinois
Shamrock Dates of Mississippi
Shamrock Holland of Texas

The religious types:
Saint Patrick Blan
Saint Patrick Forrest
Saint Patrick

The patriotic:
Ireland England
Ireland Green
Irish Sea
Ireland Brew

Whimsical:
Rainbow Green
Emerald Jewel
Clover Field
Clover B. Green

A St. Patrick’s Day feast:
Beef Cooper
Guinness Dack
Cabbage Haywood

Foods

Some parents loved eating so much, they named their kids after favorite meals, snacks—and even condiments:

Lunch Magee
Dinner Ware
Bread White
Hero Brat
Mayo Head
Mustard M. Mustard
Pickle Parker
Plum Sellers
Banana Bowdy
Cherry Grant


3 comments:

'Blick TX' said...

When we lived in OKC, we considered using Dr. Safety First. And, are you familiar with the Lear Jet Corporation? Bill Lear name his first daughter Shanda. One last one -- the organist at our church in Tulsa was Imagray Matthews. Nothing unusual? Well, before her marriage she was Imagray Wolfe.

'Nuff.

Joanne Justis said...

You would not believe the secrets that lay hidden within a name and a birthdate.

The name reveals the baby's personal characteristics and traits (Soul Desire, Personality, Purpose and eight lessons to be learned) while the birthdate reveals the child's development areas (strengths and weaknesses).

All children are born with a spiritual master plan--their blueprint but unfortunately, the naming convention is not only misunderstood but it would be shocking if parents learned the truth about naming in general and how it will affect their child's life.

The most important gift a parent will ever bestow on their child is his/her name. This is not a JOKE.

Joanne Justis
Chaldean Master Numerologist and Author
Baby Naming Expert
www.NumbersRU.com

Anonymous said...

Just met a new mom who's all of 19 or 20 and named her newborn baby girl, get this.....Robot.

There oughta be a law.

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