Mr. Mom and Sarah Palin

I recently put in my Facebook status update the following:

Seth wonders why so many conservatives are going to vote for McCain/Palin when this will take a new mother out of the home into one of the most demanding jobs around.

I was just making an observation and people went crazy. Which is alright, and I love discussing issues with people, as long as they don't get mad or angry. I don't think anyone did in this quick discussion, but I figured that since I got 31 comments on a status update that this must be hitting people as important. What I thought I would do is give some posts on the role of the man, and the role of the woman in a family situation. So, this will be the first post on the role of the man. I probably will follow up these series of posts with a post on singleness, as many people don't speak about this these days. Also, please note that there are exceptions to all these rules. Some of these would include a man who has been injured and can't work, is handicapped, illness, etc. The following are posts that would consider a healthy man and woman in a marriage. If you have questions as far as exceptions, please ask.

The Role of the Man in Marriage

The Man is the head of the house

This takes on many implications. Look to Eph 5:22-30

See the implications of this calling? Men love to snicker and point to the fact that they are the heads of the woman. But this is no ordinary calling. Eph 5:24 does tell us that the men are literally the heads of the household in marriage, being the fact that the woman is subject to the man. Genesis 3 says that part of the curse was that it was now going to be difficult for woman to deal with this, but the fact is, the man is the head. We will spend more time speaking of this in the posts regarding the role of the woman in marriage.

But look at this difficulty with this responsibility.

First. You are to be ready to die to self for your wife. You are to love her so much that you would do anything for her, that God would allow. Finances are a struggle? Who gets the second job? Wife has a baby who comes home to aid her? Who was the head of the apostles? Christ. Who was the most humble among them, loved them most, served them most? Christ. So, whether physically or spiritually, the man is the one who will die for the sake of the wife, so that she might be protected in every way possible.

Second. Who is responsible for the wife’s faith? The husband. Eph 5:26,27. The focus on this part of Ephesians 5, is on Christ and what He did for the church. But we are to emulate this as husbands. We are in charge of the spiritual well being for the house and for our wives. We are not only the physical head of the marriage and house, but also the spiritual. We are to lead our wives in Bible study, we are to lead our wife in prayer, we are to lead our wife in actions and words with care and love for her love of Christ.

Third. The husband is to live out the second greatest commandment with his wife. He is to love her as himself. It isn't hard for a man to love himself. Man is condemned many times with pride, which is love of self. So, when we are told that we are to love our wife as ourselves this isn't hard to understand, it is just hard to work this out practically. Men really love themselves a lot, and we think very highly of ourselves. God states, that as we see ourselves, and love ourselves, we are to actually be humble and exchange that love for self, for the love of the wife, for the glory of God.

These are all amazing callings for the man, being that in Greek culture the women were not seen as anything important and could be used by the man in any way he pleased. Yet, God says, “Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ” in Eph 5:21. So, Paul is not some male chauvenist, he just the opposite. He calls for sacrificial love for someone who was looked at as property in his time. He said, she isn't property, she is your own flesh, now love and care for her as such.

Lastly, The Man is to be the breadwinner. This comes straight from the creation of Adam and then we find it again in the curse. The role wasn’t created in the curse, but we find that part of man’s curse was found in working in toil for the food for the house.

Look to Genesis 2:15; 3:17-19

You will notice that in Genesis that the man is to be the one cultivating the ground, he is the keeper of the garden. When the curse happens then you see that the man is now going to find his work very difficult. This doesn't mean that men will now all have to be farmers, but the fact is that his work of trade will be very difficult. This is what is meant when God states, "Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you" and " By the sweat of your face you will eat bread." The point is that the work of the man will be very difficult and not easy. The underlining understanding is that the man's curse was that his work would be very difficult. When we go through the woman's curse, you will notice it isn't the work of her hands that is difficult, but now it is the work of the home that becomes difficult in child bearing and trying to usurp the husband's authority.

The man is to be at work, he is to be working for the sake of his household. Paul tells Timothy:

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever
1 Timothy 5:8

Also, you will notice that in Proverbs 31 where we find the most excellent wife, that she does do some work outside of the home, but notice that the husband is not at home with the kids, but he is where he should be, at work, and known at the city gate (Proverbs 31:23). The city gate was the place of decision making and rulership of the cities and this is where we find the man. His wife, allows him to hold a prominant role in the business market because his home is ran well by his perfect help mate.

Next post we will continue to see the man in the role at the church and then we will see our perfect example in Christ. After that we will look at the role of the woman in marriage and the role of the woman in the church. Please ask any questions that you might have.

Also, know that I love my wife more than anything, sometimes dangerously close to my love for Christ, and I would never degrade her or hold my position of authority to degrade her. We make decisions together, we pray together and we love Christ together. Sometimes when we go through these kinds of discussions, people for some reason take this as chauvanistic, but if you saw our marriage, you would see a deep love and respect and protection for my beautiful wife that is only found under the authority of my great God.